How to have difficult conversations

Let’s face it…we are all in relationships that need some tweaking. To add to the complication many of us have relationship issues with people who (a. cannot ever be wrong; b. cannot apologize; c. will try to make you feel wrong by trying to discuss issues).

This is a major complication in any relationship. It is not an obstacle though. What you can do to overcome this obstacle is to ask the person who (a. cannot ever be wrong; b. cannot apologize; c. will try to make you feel wrong by trying to discuss issues) if they want to work on the relationship issues. If they say “yes” try to present what you are experiencing. Say something along these lines…”If you want to work on our issues I am confused by why your defenses are (a. cannot ever be wrong; b. cannot apologize; c. will try to make you feel wrong by trying to discuss issues). It seems like you are conflicted. Maybe you need some time to deliberate. If you are wanting to work on our issues I will give you some time to figure out why your defense mechanisms are not in synch with your intent to work on our issues.

These people, often, do want to work on their issues. They are not aware of how their personality types, quirks, issues prevent that from happening. They keep tripping on their own feet (if you will).

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